Understanding the challenges and beauty of stimming

Imagine being in a crowded place, like a grocery store, and your child begins to chew on her shirt. While they are processing the environment, you feel self-conscious, worried about how others might perceive the behavior. In these moments, it’s easy to feel torn between supporting your child’s needs and managing the reactions of onlookers. It’s important to remember that this behavior, known as stimming, is a way your child interacts with their world, helping them manage sensory input and emotions. Rather than something that needs to be extinguished, stimming is an integral part of self-regulation and self-expression for many individuals on the autism spectrum.

What is stimming?

Stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, refers to repetitive movements, sounds, or actions that individuals, particularly those on the autism spectrum, engage in. These behaviors can vary widely from subtle actions like tapping fingers or humming, to more noticeable behaviors such as hand-flapping, rocking, or repeating phrases. While stimming is often associated with autism, it can also be observed in other neurodivergent individuals. It’s important to recognize that stimming is not a random or disruptive behavior but a natural response that helps people manage their sensory, emotional, and social experiences.

What does stimming look like?

Stimming behaviors can manifest in different ways, and they often fall into one of the following categories:

Physical stimming

  • Hand-flapping: Repetitive movement of the hands or fingers, typically seen in moments of excitement or sensory overload.
  • Rocking: Moving the body back and forth, often used to self-soothe.
  • Tapping: Repeatedly tapping fingers, feet, or objects to release tension or calm the body.
  • Spinning: Rotating in circles or spinning objects, which can provide a sense of balance or pleasure.
  • Bouncing: Jumping or bouncing up and down, often seen in moments of joy or overstimulation.
  • Head-banging or body rocking: Sometimes a sign of distress or discomfort but can also be used to self-regulate.

Visual stimming

  • Watching repetitive movements: Focusing on spinning objects, lights, or patterns, providing visual feedback that is calming.
  • Flickering or waving: Waving fingers in front of the eyes or focusing on moving patterns, which may be soothing.

Auditory stimming

  • Humming or making noises: Repeating sounds or humming tunes, often to focus or self-soothe.
  • Echolalia: Repeating words, phrases, or sounds, which can help regulate emotions or provide comfort.

Oral stimming

  • Chewing or sucking: Chewing on items like pens, clothing, or chew toys, often as a way to manage anxiety or focus.
  • Lip-smacking or biting: Repetitive movements of the mouth or lips, often used for sensory input.

Why do many autistic people stim?

Stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, refers to repetitive movements, sounds, or actions that individuals on the autism spectrum often engage in. These behaviors vary widely, with some individuals rocking back and forth, hand-flapping, humming, or repeating certain phrases or words. While stimming is often viewed as a behavioral trait of autism, it is a natural response to a range of sensory and emotional experiences. There are three common reasons why people stim: Sensory regulation, emotional regulation, and expression of joy or interest. Let’s explore each of these reasons in greater detail.

1. Sensory regulation

Many individuals on the autism spectrum experience sensory processing differences, such as heightened sensitivity to lights, sounds, or textures. Stimming helps them manage these sensory experiences by either amplifying or dampening sensory input. For example, a child who is overwhelmed by noise might engage in repetitive behaviors like hand-flapping to calm themselves. These actions help them feel more grounded and better able to navigate their sensory environment.

2. Emotional regulation

Stimming also helps people regulate emotions like anxiety, excitement, or frustration. Just as people might fidget or tap their feet when nervous, individuals with autism use stimming to self-soothe and regulate intense feelings. This helps them remain calm and prevent emotional escalation in overwhelming situations. By engaging in stimming, they can process emotions in a manageable way and regain a sense of control.

3. Expression of joy or interest

Stimming can occur as a way to express joy, excitement, or deep interest in something. When an individual becomes highly engaged with a favorite activity, subject, or toy, stimming becomes a natural way to show enthusiasm. This behavior is not driven by a need for regulation but by emotional engagement and focus. It’s their way of communicating excitement and connection with something that brings them joy or captivates their attention.

The importance of stimming

Stimming is a valuable tool for self-regulation and emotional processing. It should not be viewed as a behavior to “stop” but rather as an expression of individuality and neurodiversity. 

Sensory toys: supporting your child with fidget and oral motor tools

Sensory toys are an excellent way to provide alternative outlets for self-regulation. These tools help children who stim manage their sensory needs in a more controlled or socially acceptable way. They can also provide comfort and focus, helping children feel more grounded.

Fidget toys

Fidget toys are small, portable tools that children can manipulate to engage their sense of touch. These toys are particularly useful in environments like school or social settings, where children may need something to help them stay focused or calm. Some common types of fidget toys include:

  • Fidget Spinners: Small spinning toys that provide visual and tactile stimulation.
  • Fidget Cubes: Compact cubes with buttons, switches, and wheels that can be pressed or rotated.
  • Stress Balls: Squeezeable balls that provide tactile feedback, helping release tension.
  • Putty or Slime: Malleable materials that children can stretch, mold, or pull apart.

Oral motor toys (chewies)

For children who engage in oral stimming (like chewing on clothes or objects), oral motor toys can provide a safer and more appropriate alternative. These toys are designed to offer sensory input through chewing or sucking, helping children focus and regulate emotions. Some examples include:

  • Chewable Necklaces: Durable silicone necklaces that children can chew on.
  • Chewy Tubes: Tubes designed for chewing, offering sensory stimulation in a safe, controlled manner.
  • Chewable Bracelets: Discreet, wearable chew toys that can be used throughout the day.

These sensory toys should not be seen as a replacement for stimming but as a tool to help children engage in stimming behaviors more safely or in environments where stimming might draw unwanted attention.

How to support your child when they stim

As a parent, you may feel conflicted when your child engages in stimming, especially in public settings. However, it’s essential to shift from viewing stimming as a problem to recognizing it as a helpful coping tool. Here are strategies for supporting your child:

1. Recognize the need behind the stimming

Before reacting, take a moment to understand the context of the stimming behavior. Is your child trying to manage sensory overload or emotional discomfort? Are they expressing joy or happiness? By identifying the need behind the stimming, you can respond in a more effective and supportive way.

2. Encourage self-regulation techniques

Empower your child with tools to self-regulate their behavior. These might include:

    • Fidget toys or stress balls for discrete stimming.

    • Headphones to manage auditory sensitivities.

    • Sensory breaks, where your child can retreat to a quiet space to regroup.

Importantly, this does not mean to encourage these behaviors in the place of stimming, but just to help your child develop a variety of ways to self-regulate. The only times you might ever want to help your child find alternatives to stimming are if the stim is dangerous to them (e.g., head banging) or if your child shares that they are embarrassed by the behavior and would like an alternative way to self regulate. 

3. Create a space for sensory regulation

At home, designate a space where your child can engage in stimming that provides other types of sensory input that your child enjoys or finds calming.. This “Sensory Space” could include soothing lighting, calming music, or sensory-friendly toys. Such spaces can become a “go to” place for your child when they are feeling overwhelmed or dysregulated.

4. Be understanding and non-judgmental

One of the most important things you can do is show acceptance. Stimming is not “bad” behavior; it’s a legitimate way your child expresses themselves and self-regulates. By modeling understanding, you teach your child that their natural self-expression is valued, even in public spaces.

Empowering children through self-advocacy

Self-advocacy allows children to express their needs and preferences, which is essential for emotional resilience. For children who stim, this might mean advocating for sensory breaks or explaining the need to engage in certain stimming behaviors. For instance, a child may need to say, “I need a break” when overwhelmed, or use a visual cue if verbal communication is challenging.

Ways to foster self-advocacy

    • Start early: Teach basic communication skills like “I need help” or “I need a break.”

    • Explain the function of stimming: Help your child understand why they stim. For example, “Flapping your hands helps you calm down when things feel loud.”

    • Role-playing: Practice situations where your child might need to request support or a break, giving them the tools to express themselves.

    • Encourage non-verbal expression: Teach your child to use gestures, pictures, or a communication device if needed.

Creating an inclusive environment for stimming

An inclusive environment is one that respects and supports neurodivergent behaviors like stimming. This means not only accommodating your child’s needs at home but also advocating for them in school or social settings.

Why inclusivity matters

In an inclusive environment, your child can express themselves naturally without fear of judgment. This acceptance empowers them to thrive, not just as an individual with autism, but as a person who is valued for their unique way of being.

Strategies for creating an inclusive environment

    • Normalize Stimming: Educate family, friends, and teachers about stimming and its importance for your child’s well-being.

    • Create Sensory-Friendly Spaces: Both at home and in public, create quiet areas where your child can retreat to regulate their sensory needs.

    • Advocate in School: Ensure that your child’s school environment is supportive of stimming behaviors. This might include allowing sensory breaks or using noise-canceling headphones.

    • Promote Social Acceptance: Educate peers about neurodiversity and the value of accepting differences

Embracing neurodiversity

Stimming is a natural, essential part of the lives of many children on the autism spectrum. As a parent, embracing your child’s stimming behaviors and responding with empathy and understanding fosters a supportive environment where they can thrive. Instead of viewing stimming as a challenge to be fixed, recognize it as a unique form of self-expression and self-regulation. By promoting self-advocacy, creating inclusive spaces, and teaching others about neurodiversity, you empower your child to navigate the world confidently and with pride.