Navigating the world of special education can feel overwhelming—especially when it comes to Individualized Education Programs (IEPs). If you’re the parent or caregiver of a neurodivergent child, you may have experienced moments of confusion, frustration, or even intimidation during IEP meetings. You’re not alone—and you have rights.

You’re allowed to ask for what you need too. Whether that’s a quiet seat in the room, time to think things through, or someone by your side, your comfort matters. This is a partnership, and you deserve to feel supported and respected throughout.

At Avela, we believe in partnering with families to navigate the IEP journey in a way that centers your child’s unique strengths and needs. We’re here to help you feel confident, prepared, and supported every step of the way.

This guide is designed to help you understand those rights so you can feel more confident and empowered in supporting your child’s education.

What is an IEP?

An IEP is a legally binding document developed for students who qualify for special education services under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). It outlines your child’s educational goals, services, accommodations, and how progress will be measured.

But just as importantly, the IEP process is meant to be collaborative. You are not just invited to the table—you’re an equal and vital member of the team. You are the expert on your child. 

For more information about who is eligible for an IEP review: A complete guide to autism diagnosis for parents

Your rights as a parent in the IEP process

1. The right to participate fully

As a parent or guardian, you have the legal right to be a full and equal member of the IEP team. This means your voice matters—not just in the meeting itself, but in every step of the process. You bring essential knowledge about your child that no one else can provide.

Here are some ways you can actively participate:

  • Share observations from home, extracurriculars, or community settings that highlight your child’s strengths and needs.
  • Bring in data or reports from outside providers (like speech therapists, psychologists, or Avela clinicians). The school team is legally required to consider this information as part of the evaluation and planning process.
  • Ask questions—at any time. You don’t need to understand every acronym or policy before speaking up. In fact, any time that something is not clear or you are unsure is a great time to ask questions–you deserve to understand everything that is being discussed and how it is relevant to your child.
  • Request breaks during the meeting if you need time to process, regroup, or clarify. You can even ask that the meeting be stopped and that a date be found to continue–you do not have to have an entire meeting in one sitting if there is too much for you to process or if you need time to review what you have heard or seen.
  • Choose where you sit so you feel comfortable and can participate fully.
  • Bring a support person, whether that’s a clinician, advocate, or friend. You can invite anyone you trust to be part of the process.

💡 Tip: Your insights and concerns help shape the IEP. You are not a person who is “allowed to participate”—you are essential to the team and your voice and opinions are as important–if not more so–than those of other team members.

2. The right to be comfortable and supported

Advocacy includes advocating for yourself. You have the right to ask for what you need to feel comfortable during IEP meetings. This might mean:

  • Choosing where you sit
  • Requesting breaks
  • Asking for a virtual option if that feels easier
  • Bringing a water bottle, notepad, or anything that helps you stay focused
  • Tell them in advance you would like to record the meeting to review later, they may also want to review.

You can also invite anyone you trust to attend the meeting with you. This might be:

  • A healthcare advocate (such as a clinician from Avela, a special education advocate, or a special education attorney)
  • Your child’s therapist (e.g., private speech, OT, ABA, psychologist, developmental pediatrician)
  • A trusted friend or family member

You don’t have to go through this alone. It is your right to invite anyone you want–just be sure to let the school know ahead of time who will be attending with you. 

3. The right to be informed

You have the right to receive clear, accessible information about your child’s evaluation, IEP services, and educational placement. Schools are required to provide a Prior Written Notice before making any changes to your child’s IEP—and this notice must explain what decisions were made and why.

📄 Ask for any documents (e.g., assessments, goal drafts, etc) ahead of meetings so you have time to review them. 

Share the documents with your private therapists to gather their thoughts and input.  

4. The right to take your time

You do not have to come to a final decision during a single IEP meeting. If you need time to review the information, talk with others, or simply process the conversation, you can sign the IEP from home or ask for a follow-up meeting to discuss anything that needs clarification or you do not agree with.   

This is not only allowed—it’s completely reasonable.

🕊️ Pacing matters. You are allowed to pause, reflect, and revisit.

In New Jersey, your written informed consent is required before your child can be evaluated for special education services or receive special education services for the first time. This ensures that you are fully informed about the proposed actions and agree to them voluntarily.​

You have the right to:

  • Consent to the proposed evaluation or services.
  • Decline consent if you disagree with the proposed actions.
  • Revoke your consent at any time by providing written notice.

If you decline consent for the initial evaluation or services, the school district cannot proceed with the evaluation or implement the IEP. Moreover, the district may not seek to override your refusal through a due process hearing. This means that without your consent, the school district is not obligated to provide special education services and is not considered in violation of providing a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE).

For Subsequent IEPs:

After the initial IEP, if the school proposes changes or a new IEP

  • The district must provide you with prior written notice detailing the proposed changes.
  • You have 15 calendar days to respond.
    • If you agree with the proposed IEP, the district will implement it as scheduled.
    • If you disagree, you must request mediation or a due process hearing within the 15-day period.
    • If you do not respond within 15 days and do not request mediation or due process, the district may implement the proposed IEP without your written consent.

Important Considerations:

  • Declining consent or not responding does not end the conversation. It’s an opportunity for further discussion, clarification, and collaboration between you and the school district.
  • If you have concerns or need more information, you can request an IEP meeting at any time to discuss your child’s educational needs and the proposed services. In other words, you can request a meeting even if the school has not indicated one is needed.

6. The right to request an evaluation

If you suspect your child may need support, you have the right to request a full (or partial) and individualized evaluation at any time. The school must respond to your request promptly, either by beginning the evaluation process or providing a reason for denying it.  It is the school district’s responsibility to assess the following areas of development: social /emotional, academic, recreational therapy, behavioral, occupational therapy/ fine motor, sensory integration, speech, psycho-educational, adaptive physical education. 

📝 Make your request in writing and keep a copy for your records.

7. The right to disagree and seek resolution

If you disagree with a decision, you can:

  • Request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) at the school’s expense
     An IEE is an evaluation conducted by a qualified professional outside of the school system. If you feel the school’s assessment didn’t fully capture your child’s needs—or you simply want a second opinion—you have the right to request an IEE. The school must either agree to fund the IEE or explain why they believe their evaluation was appropriate (usually through a due process hearing).
  • Call an IEP meeting at any time
     You don’t have to wait for the annual review. If concerns come up, you can request a meeting to revise or discuss the IEP.
  • File a state complaint or request mediation or a due process hearing
     These are formal options if informal problem-solving doesn’t resolve your concerns.

⚖️ These safeguards exist to protect your child’s right to an appropriate education.

8. The right to understand (in your language)

All documents and meetings should be accessible to you. If your primary language is not English or if you need other supports to participate (such as interpreters or translated documents), the school must provide them.

🌍 Every parent deserves to be part of the process, regardless of language or background.

You are your child’s best advocate

The IEP process can feel technical and sometimes overwhelming. You are not a guest in the room. You are a key decision-maker, and your voice carries weight. You are the expert on your child. 

Your love, insights, and advocacy can shape an educational experience that supports not only your child’s needs but also their strengths, preferences, and dreams.

After the IEP is signed: your advocacy still matters

Once the IEP is written and all parties agree, the document is finalized—but your role as an advocate doesn’t stop there. You can continue the process by calling another IEP and continuing to advocate for what is best for your child.